The Art of Balance
Our ability to stand without falling over is something that we seldom think about everyday. If it is windy we automatically lean into the wind to keep our balance and we keep going. Getting through our daily challenges is a lot like leaning in the wind. We realistically acknowledge the circumstance and adjust to find our centre of balance. When we do this we can maintain our balance and keep moving forward. If we don't we can not progress and may end up stuck, going backwards or losing our balance entirely. During these times of challenges we sometimes fail to coordinate our inner knowingness and action and we get out of sync and act irrationally.
Sometimes we await someone else to bail us out or save the day. How many times have you heard "next year it'll be better, or soon it'll change." If we can't stop the wind then we can lean in and keep moving through it. It's using the "law of requisite variety." Carl Jung, the renown psychologist, wrote, " I have often seen individuals simply outgrow a problem which had destroyed others." This "outgrowing" was seen to consist a new level of consciousness. Some higher or wider interest came into the person's horizon and through this new view point the insoluble problem lost its urgency. It was not repressed and made unconscious, but merely appeared in a different light and so it did indeed become different. What had in the past been panicky outbursts, wild conflicts, now viewed from a different level seemed like a storm in a teacup. There will come a time, while leaning into the wind that we will find we can use the wind to lift us up higher into a state of consciousness and spiritual understanding. Here we discover we can use the power of the wind to sustain us. After all, it is the wind around an airplane's wing that lifts it into the air and holds it there. We too have wings which are composed not only of our characteristics, qualities and experiences but of hope, faith and trust that our tomorrows will be bright and sunny. The next time you feel as though you are in a personal challenge and the wind is blowing, fling yourself forward with confidence and enthusiasm and soar like a bird with the spirit of who you are beneath your wings.
Have you ever noticed that some people seem to be successful even before you speak to them? It's that sense of self-assuredness that comes from them that is hard not to notice. It is a state of mind that flows into their body and encompasses their world around them. I have had the opportunity to work with many successful people and being a curious person I ask lots of questions in my search for what is called modelling excellence and success. You see the belief is that if one person can accomplish something then anyone can; once they have the recipe or know how. In my research and studies I have found that successful people have learned how to cope better when under pressure; they have balance and pay attention to family, clients, colleagues and work. They plan and prepare for work and focus 100% on whatever they are doing. They have methods for relaxation such as meditation, golf, tennis, family outings. And the most important ingredient of all is they have peace of mind. This can only come when people stop trying so hard and learn to enjoy their role in life and the now moments. Now if you think this is something you would like in life, then you may want to learn more about state and mind management. We encourage you to learn Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and begin now to transform your life.
Q. Despite telling my daughter repeatedly not to put my expensive lingerie into the washing machine where the colors run and then the dryer till they're doll-sized, keeps doing it and this is the third time! Other than this she is great, can you help me?
A. Spend some time with her and in a normal tone of voice that is friendly, praise her work so far, how well she does cleaning etc. Ask her if she has something that is fragile and valuable. Something that she takes special care of, and ask her how she'd feel if someone treated it without being delicate? Let her know this is how you feel about your expensive lingerie. Next show her how to launder one piece and then have her show you how she can duplicate the process. Then give her more praise. Make sure you do this in a normal calm voice and if appropriate pat her shoulder to solidify the message.
Everyone Else Knows What's Good For Me - Who Should I Listen To?
Society has encouraged us to believe that if we take care of our own needs and keep ourselves satisfied we will be fulfilled. This for the most part is an illusion. As soon as one need is satisfied another arises. It is never enough. For a period of time people appease themselves and their families by adding more and more external things and clutter that eventually rusts, disintegrates or loses its lustre by a better bigger toy or item. There are people who make this search for fulfilment and happiness a lifetime struggle, never quite getting finding what they are looking for.
The brain and mind get so involved in these habitual neurological acts that they become addicted or wired to the chemical rush or effect. This happens unconsciously and as human beings we pay the price getting stuck in ruts and doing "things" over and over and over again. Once we finally STOP and decide the price we are paying is too high and change the behaviours do we really make progress.
Q. My sister keeps insisting that my fiancé is not "right" for me and keeps encouraging me to break it off. She interferes and questions everything he says and does and makes me start to wonder if she is right. What should I do, confront him or ignore her?
A. Don't ignore nor confront, in a calm and normal tone of voice, ask your sister, "What specifically do you mean about him not being right?" Listen to her without defending him and let her know you appreciate her concern, however you are the one in the relationship and it is your choice. When you are around your sister and your fiancé, watch the body language of them both as they interact. Make sure you engage them both in conversation and being yourself, show how much you care for your partner and sister. This should make the situation become more clear.
How Can I Make More Money?
As the actor Tim Robbins strolled up to the podium at the 1998 Academy Awards ceremonies, I wonder how many people observed him as he tapped his shoulders and tugged his ear. Although such subtle movements were probably undetected by millions of viewers, in doing so he was joining a long tradition of celebrities, noted politicians and professional speakers who have learnt how to use physical signals to alter their emotional states through simple NLP processes called anchoring. For example: A young woman was so obsessed with doing her job perfectly that she spent hours doing and redoing her work. This left her mentally, physically and emotionally drained with little to nothing left for anyone. I had her visualize herself at work relaxed, smiling, confident and calm, doing her work easily and effortlessly. We then set a physical anchor by having her remember times in her life when she was confident, happy, calm and had her put all those feelings into a fist so when she felt drained she could make the fist and access those powerful feelings. With just these two small procedures she began to change and became more at peace with herself.
Q. Even though I make a good salary I never seem to have enough money. Is there anything I can do to change this?
A. When people say they don't have enough they are setting limits on themselves. And how much is enough anyway? To Donald Trump it could be $100 Billion and to John Jones it could be $25. What is important is how much is enough to you? Many people are brought up with the notion that money is scarce and only the "rich" have it. Some people think they have to work hard for their money. Whatever your beliefs about money are will dictate your financial state. Some helpful NLP tips are: " Observe Abundance. Look around you; chances are you'll see an abundance of many things. Sunshine, people, cars, work, rain, traffic, toys, papers. Abundance comes in many forms and is everywhere. " Be Creative. Often we get trapped in a rut of doing things a certain way, and that way is not necessarily the most productive or cost efficient way to accomplish that task. Ask yourself questions like: How else can I have more money and abundance. Do something as a demonstration of showing abundance.
Achieving Your Dreams Is As Simple As Changing The Way You Think!
People who achieve their dreams first had a VISION that MOTIVATED them. Imagine having a vision that motivates you that sets you on a path determined to succeed. Motivation starts with the desire to be free from dependencies on others, freedom to have the lifestyle we dream of, freedom to explore our ideas. People who have vision control their destiny. For people without a vision, their destiny is controlled by other peoples dreams. Think about your own life. Have you been sufficiently motivated to take risks and make changes. We become what we think about all day. To change we must change the way we habitual think and start to focus on our dream.
Start now, by practicing this simple four step approach.
- Let yourself have a dream that motivates you. At first keep it to yourself to let it build and expand. Unfortunately other people often crush your dreams, know who you can share them with.
- Learn how to think unlimited possibilities and focus on your dream. If you find yourself thinking those old habitual negative thoughts then, cancel them and focus on your dream instead.
- Learn from past failures, no one ever succeed without seeming failure. Don't let it stop you, just know better how to take one step at a time. Your dream will attract the right people, money, tools, resources if you think about it with an attitude of optimism.
- Take time to enjoy the process of the unfolding dream, when you do it can even be better than you imagined.
Constructive thinking is a life skill that leads to opportunities and personal growth. What can be more confusing than wrestling with the infinite possibilities in our mind? Or more exhausting than trying to figure out our role in the overall scheme of things? Many exciting adventures await those who are willing to take the time to stop and think in a constructive way, for the fruits of thought are decisions, actions, and results. We can amplify the power of thought by using writing them down. In fact writing down our thoughts helps us to focus on them. It allows us to capture the thoughts and all the directions in which they flow. Plus, these notes provide the opportunity to clarify, modify, and simplify what's on our mind. A fantastic side effect of taking notes is that they also serve as records to which we can refer to once again in the future.
Simple way to free the power of thought is to ask questions. Make sure however they are the right questions. Ask, "How can I solve this problem?" Don't ask, "Why did this happen to me?" Ask, "What are my options?" Don't ask, "Who or what can I blame?" Avoid asking why questions as they only give more reasons, excuses and interferes and add confusion. Ask how, what, who questions, write what your mind come up with and then you are using constructive thinking. Pulitzer Prize winner Walter Duranty said, "The problem with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than their minds."
Positive Thinking For Change
Here we are in the second month of a new year and as usual time is speeding past without regard to how much we want to accomplish and live our lives. For some of us we intend to get to a better place in our lives this year. Perhaps financially or personally or in our relationships, and unless we take action and see our intentions through they become only dreams. I have never met anyone who has a successful life that has not taken action on what was once an intention. Your intention sets the course or direction to help you accomplish what you set out or want to do. It's only a starting point, without it there is no direction or movement. A lot of people live their lives through what is happening now, letting their environment dictate hat to do next. A little preparation and fore-thought is like taking a holiday with a destination in mind and knowing what to pack in order to dress for the climate when you get there. When you apply this principal to your intentions then you can uncomplicated your life and make changes to have the experiences you desire.
Q. My son is 27. He had a successful business, but made some poor choices. The business has collapsed and now he sits in front of the TV and seems resigned to his failure. Is there anything that can help him to get out of this situation?
A. It sounds like your son is going through some self confidence issues. Remind him that the world's most successful people failed numerous times before things worked out for them. He needs to reignite his passion and creativity and find an outlet for this to happen. Ask him what other business ideas he has and encourage him to talk about how he sees them working. If he should start to doubt himself then steer the conversation in a positive direction. Be a good listener, and refrain from giving advice. Have him recount what he did learn and what he would do differently now. He needs to understand he is not alone as a lot of businesses fail, and he can always start over again. We all learn from what seems to be failures; there is no other way to learn. When Thomas Edison was interviewed by a newspaper, the reporter asked him how he felt about having 10,000 failures before finding how to make a light bulb work. His reply was "I have gotten lots of results! If I find 10,000 ways something won't work I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every error is a step forward.